where is me????????????

being a mum is pretty hard.. i wonder if my mum faced those same problems...

sometimes i'm too busy with all the duties, trying to full fill them all .. all the freaking time, i cant seem to find my self anymore, she is distracted with putting that back in place, watching out for the kooki he will fall off this, he needs to be changed, he needs to be fed, the dished are dirty , the beds need to be made.... and so on and so on... i know not many of us find the courage to say it out loud.. but i am sick of it sometimes i am bored out of my mind

i want to sleep in, i want to go to work, i want to see my friends, i want to sit on the beach and even better i want to dive... i want to have a long drive a;lone and sing out loud on a highway

and the funniest part is the moment someone takes away my baby to relieve me or when my hubby goes away.. time flies and my brain looses its focus and still i can't have any fun either... what the hell is wrong with me.... where is me "uslan" i can't go back and find her yet i cam not comfortable with that indecisive-trying-to-hard-to-please-and-yet-failing-bitch